a pomegranate.

So it was my day off from work and I planned to spend sometime in God's word as I have been slaking a bit lately. So I sat on my bed in my cabin, I opened my bible and started to read. I read a great Psalm, Psalm 78 and then I turned to Leviticus and started to read. My mind just went off on totally different topics and I ended up closing my bible and going off the ship. The reason I went out was to go to the market and buy a pomegranate but on my way to the market I had a very intense conversation with God and he showed me something. I was walking and praying about a lot of things, I was so angry with myself. I had heard a story a couple of days before this from a girl named Alice. Her none Christian friend from home was woken up in the middle of the night with this desire to read the bible and now it fascinates him so much he cant put it down. I WANT THAT!! I was asking God to give me this desire to read his word. Then I reached the train station in Koge and God put something from my past into my mind as a cried out to him. He showed me a relationship that I had with a guy friend about a year ago. I had this friend who I thought was perfect, I was so fascinated by him, so in awe of him. I always wanted to spend time with him and I desired so badly to be with him, but he rejected me and told me that "he didn’t have time for me" it broke my heart. God helped me realize that my relationship with him right now is a lot like the relationship I had with this guy. God is like me and I am like this guy. God thinks I am so great and he is fascinated with me and just wants to spend time with me, he wants so badly to just be with me but time and time again I do to God with this guy did to me, I reject him and tell him the "I don’t have time for him." I reject the God of the universe and tell him that I don’t have time for him, I am so lucky to even be able to have a relationship with him and speak directly to him. But God also showed me a verse that I had read just before I went out. It is from Psalm 78 and it says "I will teach you hidden lessons from your past" (psalm 78:2) and that verse says exactly what God did that day, he used my past to show me something about now. God really showed me how I am treating him now in my relationship with him.